Don’t get me wrong, maternity leave has been one of the most incredible and rewarding experiences of my life. But, after taking 13 months off to look after my baby boy Quinn, I was really looking forward to coming back into the office and having adult conversations again – not to mention actually drinking my coffee whilst it's hot. The thought of an hours train journey in the morning no longer phased me – in fact, I found myself looking forward to the time when I could just sit down, on my own (if I was lucky enough to get a seat) and gaze out of the window without a baby pulling at my clothes.
As you can probably guess, the prospect of now being “locked in” for the next couple of months with a one year old, whilst trying to work at the same time, makes me feel a little uneasy. Those of you with children will know that getting out and about every day is critical for everyone’s mental health but with the threat of COVID-19, that’s not going to be possible for a while.
But, we are where we are and as I embark on this adventure of being a working parent, I questioned whether I could find a fool proof plan of how this “new normal” could work - as normal as having both myself and my husband working from home during lock-down with a curious one-year-old to entertain. I quickly realised that it wasn’t going to be easy but I’ve pulled together some tips which work for my family (on most days).
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Get up early. In practice this is a great idea and I highly recommend it, even if it is just to have a cup of coffee and prepare yourself for the day. In reality it doesn’t always work as children have a tendency to wake when they feel like it and no morning is the same, but if you can get up early instead of rushing around, it gets you in good stead for the day.
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Establish a routine. I mean, every day is a structured routine when you have a baby; naps and eating times are generally set in stone. However, with working from home rolled into the mix, we are trying to establish a new routine. Set out a plan for the day but remember to be realistic! Try to use nap times to work on things that really need your concentration, making sure you always grab some lunch and some time to yourself (if this actually exists when you’re a parent).
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Work as a team and communicate with your partner. I have found this invaluable. Now we both have to juggle work and parenting, each week we’ve created a rota of who is working and who is “on duty” – which seems to be working well (so far!). Communication is key during this time, keep talking, and let your partner know when you have work calls or need to focus. Work together to find a plan that suits you both as best you can - but again, remember to be flexible, each day will be different!
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Mix things up. Purchasing a few new toys or activities can help prevent your children from getting bored. Keep a few extra exciting activities aside for those days when you really need to focus. This sometimes works for us, not always, as a one-year-old’s attention span is very short and one day his attention will last longer than the previous day - just trial and error!
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Don't try to do it all! This is really important. It's just not possible to work, childcare, and all the laundry in one day! Accept that some things will slip, but that's OK - I mean, no-one is going to see your house for a while anyway...
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Stay connected. This is important, even more so during lockdown. Book in a video call with friends who have children. It will be good for your children to see their little friends and for the adults to catch up – to try and bring some normality. And book some 'fun friend time' for when the kids are in bed - such as hosting quizzes for each other.
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Prioritise your own mental health. Caring for children can be stressful, especially when we now have to juggle work too. It’s important to make time for us as parents. There are many sources available online for this, more so now than ever, and most are offering free access during this difficult time - so use them!
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You are doing great! Yes, remember this. Accept the parent guilt and embrace the healthy screen time. It’s ok for them to watch TV now and then.
I’ve found these tips really helpful as we navigate through this new way of working - hopefully they will help other families too. Please also check out this useful 'focus planning tool' from our friends at Talent Keepers; offering 'comeback coaching' to all employees returning to work following a period of maternity or shared parental leave.
If you have any top tips you’d like to share, please comment below – I’d love to hear from you!
Good luck!